"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
