I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He shit in the fireplace
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
