just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
