I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No subtext here. People are naked.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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