It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
