You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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