my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize