he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize