Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
