I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
