he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
