I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
