Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
