can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Four minutes until I can fart!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
