Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
