we have officially lost it.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
