i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize