Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
