The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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