wakey wakey hands off snakey
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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