You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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