u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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