please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
foreskin is a definite game changer
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
