I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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