I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
