i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize