he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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