Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize