Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
