I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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