Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i think my cat just said my name.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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