I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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