you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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