it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
