So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How many fucks given?
0.12846
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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