I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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