i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
