And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
