Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Couch. On fire.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
