I am puke
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
