you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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