ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
