And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
