If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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