i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
