dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize