So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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