with your own penis?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
