Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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