Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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