sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
