I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
