there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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