Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
