I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
