No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
