My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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