Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
