Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I know her cup size but not her name....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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