If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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