There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
