I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
where are my eyebrows?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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