Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
