Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
