There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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