Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
