I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
