I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
